True story! If you believe every lie you’re told, that is.

 

The young man sat down at the keyboard and cracked his knuckles in preparation. “Alright, lets do this!” he thought to himself. Point, click, awesome. Word-pad hopped into view; a fresh, white slate on which to spew forth dreams and ideas. As he snuggled his fingers into their neat little homes he felt it coming. Deep within his sinus cavities, it screamed its battle cry and charged. He frantically looked about and was filled with elation to spy a tissue within reach. He shot his arm out and seized it. By the gods, it has already been used! His daughters snot all over his fingers and a sneeze mere seconds away, he had to think fast. His shirt! He could use the sleeve and then change it. It wasn’t all that clean to begin with. He hesitated too long, however, and promptly sneezed his brain out and fell over dead.